No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Randomize
