he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
