well most of my day revolves around power hour
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
