let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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