Me. At least after what I've been through.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
