found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
