Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize