Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
