in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
