woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
