I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
