I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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