In the future we'll all be gay
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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