you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
