where am i from again
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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