I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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