there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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