Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
