I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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