She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize