Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
