Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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