I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
