My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
