i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
