dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
