Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
