cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I lost the right to judge tonight
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
