I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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