you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I have already put on my inside pants.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
