She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
