no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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