Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize