doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
