Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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