absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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