I'm drive I can fine osifer
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
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