so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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