i love accidental penises.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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