grandma shit on top of the toilet
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize