anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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