Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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