I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
