I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize