Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I AM VODKA MAN
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
