You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
