I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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