I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
