We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
