I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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