So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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