When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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