Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Is it because I queefed?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
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