oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
