Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You ruined the universe
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
