So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
