nut hugger
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
