Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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