Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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