It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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