$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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