1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
