the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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