i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
