So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize