you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I can't turn off my feet"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
