I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
