Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
