you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Watching her eat just hurts me
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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