Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
