i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
