Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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